Stupid Days

For the past two days I have let extremely self-destructive behaviour take over me.

I have for the sake of love and affection gone to stupid extremes.

Thank goodness in both cases the people involved were good friends and did not take advantage of the situation. They had a fair idea of what I have been through and what is compelling me to act so, and were supportive. I am so thankful for that.

One of them is now online but I do not feel the need to reach out.

What else has happened since I last wrote? I had a birthday and am now a year older.

Delhi has been extremely cold and one doesn’t feel like going out at all which is depressing.

I was chosen as a volunteer counsellor, they did say that the fact that I may transfer my own trauma on to the callers is a concern and that they would have to monitor me closely. Have been in training for the past three days.

Lots of interesting things in the training, lots of insights, lots of observations but don’t really feel like writing about them right now.

I am feeling a little low, yet peaceful and contemplative. Not really stressed out nor is my brain churning with random thoughts.

It’s going to be one of those days – ah well, maybe the evening will be brighter.