My Beautiful Cat

Things I do to bug my cat:

· Stick cellotape on his forehead.
· Terrify him by singing in an eerie opera-like falsetto.
· Force cuddle/kiss him.
· Wear a ten-faced Ravana mask and scare the wits out of him.
· Curl up to him when he’s sleeping.
· Partner with B to act like a four-armed two-faced monster.

Things my cat does to bug me:

· Gets in my cupboard and kicks my clothes out.
· Drinks out of the toilet bowl.
· Tries to drink from the tap when I’m brushing my teeth.
· Never drinks the fresh water in clean bowls put out for him.
· Hides in unreachable places when I try to bring him in for the night.
· Scratches my leather handbag.
· Sticks to me and follows me around when I’m getting ready in the morning, making me late every single day.
· Goes into sudden yowling fits for no apparent reason.
· Pees on fresh laundry even though there is virgin sand in his litter box.
· Tries to catch the mouse when I’m on the computer.
· Brings me gifts of dead pigeons and rats.

Things we do together:

· Cuddle in bed every morning.
· Share my cup of morning tea.
· Play with string, fake snakes and other assorted stuff.
· Share tandoori chicken and pizza.
· Sleep in late on weekends.
· Play hide-and-seek.
· Watch TV.
· Sing and purr.